


Sam and Dean vs. the evil LOLcats from the future

by mermaid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-11
Updated: 2010-01-11
Packaged: 2017-10-06 03:43:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mermaid/pseuds/mermaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LOLcats are supernatural beings from the future - possibly alien in origin.  They've time-travelled back to the early 21st century to prepare humankind for their imminent domination. By seeding their images and their language all over the Internet, they're getting us acclimatised to their presence and establishing the basis for future cult worship. Can the Winchester brothers save the world from this terrible fate? Or should we all get ready to welcome our new feline overlords?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam and Dean vs. the evil LOLcats from the future

**Author's Note:**

> This flashfic was written in about 5-10 minutes at a fannish lunch in January 2008. The rules: everyone started writing a story in their fandom of choice, someone read out a new and very random prompt every few minutes, and the writers had to incorporate each prompt into their story.
> 
> The prompts I used are listed at the end of the story. Apart from a few changes (I added a joke, and expanded the ending), this is verbatim from my scrawled notes. Posted here for posterity and, I hope, your amusement! **No spoilers**.

Dean and Sam were crouched on the ground, Sam's broad back shielding the candle flame against the cold wind that whipped across the graveyard.

Dean was, unsurprisingly, complaining.

"Do we _have_ to perform the banishing ritual out here?" he asked peevishly, rubbing his hands together to keep warm.

Sam's patience was, unsurprisingly, fraying.

"Like I already told you...if we do this inside, the time-travelling LOLcats will be able to latch onto any wireless signal in range and escape back onto the Internet! There's no point in cleansing teh intarwebs of this menace if they can immediately re-infect all the tubes".

Dean stared at him, then began to laugh.

Sam snapped, "What?", more than slightly peevish himself.

"You said 'teh intarwebs' - I think you might be infected with LOLspeak yourself!"

"No wai!" - Sam caught himself, grimaced, then repeated, "No _way_, dude, you heard wrong. Let's get this over with, OK?"

"Sure thing...I'm starved, anyway. There's a cherry muffin back at the motel with my name on it".

"Tell me you didn't actually write your name on it, Dean - God, you're so childish!"

Dean didn't deign to reply. He just shoved his pretty floral bonnet further down to protect his ears against the cold. If Sam's voice was muffled as a consequence, well, that was just a bonus.

"OK, let's banish these evil LOLcat sons of bitches", he said.

Sam turned on his flashlight, checked the print-out one last time, then began to recite. It wasn't the Latin droning their rituals usually required. Instead, it was a bizarre mix of LOLspeak, physics formulas, and quotations from spam emails. Dean caught phrases like 'all ur base r belong 2 us', 'infinite diversity in infinite combinations' and 'im in ur intarwebs, gaining ur trust...mwahaha!'

Thick blue smoke began to pour from the candle, and Dean heard the sound of whispering all around them. The LOLcats were converging on them, ready to fight with the myriad of invisible weapons and cheezburgers at their disposal. Sam nodded to Dean, and Dean pulled out the pocket mirror he'd brought along - to confuse the LOLcats by showing them their reflections - plus a couple of secret weapons.

The murmurs grew louder as the LOLcats approached from every direction. Dean heard each one chanting the mantra associated with the cult that worshipped it: 'longcat is looooong', etc.

At Sam's signal, they both leapt to their feet, flashed their mirrors at the cats, and yelled in unison, "**DO NOT WANT!!!11!**" Then they employed their secret weapons: lighters and aerosol cans of body spray. Standing back to back, Sam and Dean aimed the impromptu flamethrowers at the LOLcats surrounding them, chanting "**OMGWTF_BBQ_!**".

The LOLcats yowled horribly, and vanished. The graveyard was silent once more.

...And that was how the Winchester brothers saved the world from the LOLcat menace. It said a lot about their lives that it wasn't even the strangest case they'd dealt with _that month_.

**Author's Note:**

> The prompts, in order, were:
> 
> \- something about candlelight   
> \- time travel is possible  
> \- cherry muffin  
> \- inappropriate headgear  
> \- "infinite diversity in infinite combinations"  
> \- smoke and mirrors


End file.
